Thrive! 7 Ways to Get the Most Out of Every Day

Hi Love!

Thrive!  7 Ways to Get the Most Out of Every Day 

It's still pretty early into 2016, and already only 8% of those who made New Year resolutions are still on track. We can have the best intentions in the world, but it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or discouraged by multiple demands when we get back to the daily grind.

Executive coach and transformational leadership expert Donna Stoneham, Ph.D., author of The Thriver’s Edge:  Seven Keys to Transform the Way You Live, Love, and Lead, says that it’s challenging not to fall into old patterns of behavior when we get back on the treadmill of daily life.  And usually, it’s because our goals and resolutions feel like chores rather than things that make us feel happier, more productive, and more fulfilled.  She identifies the key actions you can take to operate at your peak every day so you can thrive in your life and career and be the best person you can be in the coming year.

1. Be Grateful. Identify what you have to be grateful for today!

Action: Each day, take a few minutes to pause and think about all you are grateful for: Your loved ones, the roof over your head, plenty of food to eat, your friendships, good health. Really think about each thing and take a few moments to relish the feeling.  Then get a notebook or journal and write your blessings down every day.  If you have a challenging day, go back and review them.  This is a fail safe way to lift your spirits!

Practice: Make a Gratitude Jar. Every time someone in your family has something good happen, write it down on a piece of paper and put it in the Gratitude Jar. Then once a month, create a family ritual during which you pull out the jar and one by one read all the wonderful things that have happened during the past few weeks. Feel the joy and gratitude for all the good things that have transpired. These little victories will inspire you to continue this practice each month.

2. Be Present. Tune in and be 100% present for yourself and someone else!

Action: Practice being present for at least ten minutes each day. This can be as you’re eating a meal, helping your child with homework, participating in a conversation at work, or playing with your pet. Practice being present with those around you. Really be there. Listen to them without any agenda except being fully present. Appreciate them for who they are and how they enrich your life.

Practice:  Once a week share an “appreciation meal” with your family or friends. During this time together, have each person share what they have learned about themselves and each other by being more present to one another. Let each person know what you appreciate about him or her. 

3. Focus on Your Purpose. Feel more connected to your purpose today!

Action: When we lead busy lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind and forget about the reason we do what we do every day. That’s why it’s important to remember and to focus on your purpose. Think of the difference that you’d like to make in your world. Maybe it’s being the best teacher you can be, or the most effective parent, or helping people to grow and develop if you are a manager of others. 

Practice:  Practice seeing and feeling your connection to your purpose by taking one action each day that helps you feel more deeply engaged with the reason you’re here. If you’re a teacher, then help someone in classroom learn something beneficial. If you’re a manager, then seek out and facilitate a development opportunity for someone on your team. If you’re a parent, then make it a point to let your children know how much you love them and appreciate the wonder that they bring to your life. Revel in the joy of knowing how instructive you are in the process of watching your children learn and grow.  Whatever your reasons are for doing what you do, take one action each day that helps you feel renewed and recommitted to your passion, purpose and mission. 

4.  Move Your Body. Feel more connected to the magnificence of your body!

Action: Practice moving your body, from stretching to walking to more vigorous exercise. Feel the power you have in your muscles and in every step you take. Feel how vibrant you are now, knowing you're getting even stronger with each movement.

Practice: Each day, turn off the TV, leave your phone behind, and get outside and take a walk, even if it’s a walk to the cafeteria on your lunch break at work. Breathe in the air, notice the beauty around you, feel the power in your steps, feel your connection to the ground beneath your feet.  Realize and be thankful for the magnificence of your body to take you wherever you want to go.

5. Quiet Your Mind.  Spend more time being and less time doing!

Action:  We're called human beings for a reason, but many of us have forgotten how to “be” in a world of 24/7 demands.  Carve out a few minutes every day to stop “doing” and simply be still.  Learn how to savor the silence, listen to the rain or even stare into space.  Hit the reset button on your inner hard drive at least once a day by being still. Notice what you notice when you’re quiet that you aren’t able to hear when you are caught up in the fray.

Practice:  Practice getting up 5-10 minutes earlier than your normal wake-up time each day.  This way, you aren’t losing productive time, so you won’t have an excuse not to do this.  Sit up in your bed with your back straight or find a chair in a place where you won’t be disturbed.  Set a timer on your phone or on your alarm for 5-10 minutes.  Close your eyes. Focus on breathing from your abdomen, rather than from your chest. Breathe in and out of your nose.  Notice where you feel your breath most prominently on your inhale and your exhale.  If you mind wanders, bring yourself back to your breathing by focusing on the sensation of your breathing until your timer goes off.  This practice will give you at least 5 minutes a day just to be.

6.  Appreciate Your Abundance. Identify where in your life are you truly abundant!

Action: When it comes to money and material things, enjoy what you have and make the most of it rather than always wanting more. Are there places where you spend money on things you don’t need? Where can you create experiences rather than buying things?

Practice: Instead of going out to dinner or getting take-out, how about staying home one night with the family and creating a meal together. Cook together, sit down together, and enjoy one another’s company without any electronic devices or television to distract you.

7.  Pay it Forward. Help someone else! Do it!

Action: Do something nice for at least one person every day that enables you to extend yourself to others without the expectation of anything in return.  What are the small acts of kindness that can make a difference in someone else’s life that require minimal effort to do? 

Practice:  Every day, practice delivering one act of kindness and notice how that makes you feel.  For example, pay the road toll of the person behind you. Smile at strangers and watch them smile back at you. Hold the door open for someone else. Buy a colleague a cup of coffee.  Let someone in front of you in your lane of traffic who wants to move over even when you’re in a rush.

The Thriver’s Edge

Seven Keys to Transform the Way You Live, Love and Lead

Donna Stoneham, Ph.D.

List $16.95

Trade softcover 200 pages. Also available in Kindle

ISBN: 978-1-63152-980-1

Published by She Writes Press, Berkeley, CA

About the Author

Donna Stoneham, PhD, is a master executive coach, transformational leadership expert, facilitator, author and speaker.

Donna's company, Positive Impact (www.positiveimpacellc.com) delivers break-through development programs that inspire people to create transformational results in their work and lives that create a ripple effect in the world. Known for her spirit of candor and compassion, Donna has written for the International Journal of Coaches in Organizations and Presence. As one of the world's top coaches, she will be featured in the upcoming Coaching Movie (coachingmovie.com/cast) to be released in 2017.

-- Love Rae

Female Authors On The Rise!

Hi Love!

As we continue to support female authors, please be sure to pick up your copy of Legacies.

Legacies: A Guide for Young Black Women in Planning Their Future

Constance Gipson and Hazel Mahone, Ed.D.

List $45 (Hardcover) $40 (softcover)

Hardcover edition: ISBN: 978-0-9897114-0-1

Paperback edition: ISBN: 978-0-9897114-1-8 

First Edition Full color 320-page, 8 ½" x 11" book

Published by the Vision 200 Educational Foundation.

For more information visit: www.legaciesforyoungwomen.com  

About the authors

Constance F. Gipson served as the Gender Equity Consultant for the California Department of Education for over twenty years. She administered nontraditional programs for women and men as well as programs for teen parents, single parents, single pregnant women and displaced homemakers.

Ms. Gipson helped create Images for African American young women. She co-authored Visions for African American males and wrote the Visions Activity Guide.

Ms. Gipson is the author of The Black Man's Guide to Parenting and A Different Kind of Hero, a three-volume collection of biographies of over 400 people, including many women and minorities, who had an impact on American history. She has produced award winning videos productions and is a national presenter and keynote speaker on school-to-work.

Dr. Hazel W. Mahone has been involved at every level of education, from kindergarten through the university.

Dr. Mahone is a full-time professor in the Department of Educational Leadership and Policy Studies at California State University Sacramento, a major training center for principals and teachers in multicultural communities. She is also President/CEO of Vision 2000's College Prep Math & Reading Academy that she founded 15 years ago. She brings underachieving students to the campus where they learn critical math and reading skills while being exposed to the university campus.

Dr. Mahone was the first female superintendent in Sacramento County. She is an inspirational speaker, retreat facilitator and has mentored and taught numerous students who today serve as exemplary principals, assistant principals, superintendents and district office personnel in California schools.

What People Are Saying

With its blending of stories of ancient and contemporary powerful black women, beautiful art, poetry, practical exercises and more, Legacies is an exceptional tool to help young women today develop successful life skills.

—Dr. Patricia Hill, Ph.D., Professor, University of San Francisco, editor of Call and Response: The Riverside Anthology of the African American Literary Tradition

“What a motivational, educational and inspirational work!  Legacies is a great resource to learn about our ancestry and about some of our amazing African American women and their accomplishments today!  After reading this work, young women will be inspired to dream big – because anything really is possible!!!”

--  Stephanie C. Hill, President Lockheed Martin, Information Systems & Global Solutions –

I truly enjoyed Legacies: A Guide for Young Black Women in Planning Their Future. I especially like the juxtaposition of ancient African royal women and leaders with contemporary Black women. Young Black women and girls can see the connection between their present day selves and the ancestors. How refreshing too for young readers to learn that the African continent is so vast and such an integral part of world history.  Africa is not just a country populated by lions, elephants, starving children, and warring tribes. …[]… The artwork and the poetry add another dimension to the book.  The artwork brings a wonderful visual component that reflects the text. The classic poems of Mari Evans, “I am a Black Woman;” Carolyn Rodgers, “How I Got Ovah,” and Nikki Giovanni’s, “Ego Tripping,” among many others, will speak to the hearts and souls of many readers. There is a lot here to encourage young black women to grasp their future with both hands and soar above the adversities that life can bring.  

—Joyce Hansen, author, African Princess: The Amazing Lives of Africa's Royal Women and Home is with Our Family

-- Love Rae

Black Women Are Among The Greatest Leaders In History (Part 2)

Hi Love!

Learn about:

Queen Hatshepsut

“I am Queen Hatshepsut, daughter of Thutmose I. I am a descendant of QueenNofretari. I lived between c1498-1483 BC in Egypt; I married my half-brother Thutmose II to keep the royal blood line pure. I became the guardian of Thutmose III, Thutmose II’s son by another wife, when his father died at a young age. Thutmose III was very young and I was named Queen Regent. I became the pharaoh of Egypt (1479-1458 BC). When I became pharaoh, I donned the clothes of a pharaoh and wore a beard. I ruled in peace and built monuments to the gods.

Stephanie D. Wilson

Stephanie Wilson was born in 1966 in Boston, Massachusetts and graduated from Taconic High School, Pittsfield, Massachusetts. In 1984 and received a Bachelor of Science degree in engineering science from Harvard University in 1988. She worked for two years for the former Martin Marietta Astronautics Group in Denver, Colorado, as a Loads and Dynamics engineer for Titan IV. Then she earned her Master of Science degree in aerospace engineering from the University of Texas in 1992. After graduate school she began working for the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, Selected by NASA in April 1996, Wilson reported to the Johnson Space Center in August 1996 and after two years of training and evaluation, she qualified for flight assignment as a mission specialist.

Wilson completed her first space flight on STS-121 in 2006 and has logged almost 13 days in space. The mission was accomplished, 37 minutes and 54 seconds.

Sogolon Konté

“I am the mother of the great king, Sundiata. My child was crippled and dragged himself around on all fours until he was ten years old. But he became a great king of the Mali Empire in 1230 AD. His empire included Mali, Mauritania, Senegal, and the former empire of Ghana. His empire stretched more than 1000 miles. The empire had a vast trade in gold, salt and iron. My son was a brilliant military leader who gave women powerful positions in his army. Mali was one of the most advanced civilizations in the world. It was orderly and sophisticated. A Muslim empire, it believed in justice.

But justice did not extend to slaves. Up to 10,000 slaves were carried across the Sahara to the Mediterranean and the Middle East. The slaves then worked on plantations, in mines, and as household workers. On my death bed, I asked my son to abolish slavery. He honored this request and became a hero to the Mandingo people.

After his death, in 1255, his grandson, Mansa Musa reigned over this rich empire for 50 years. When he went on a pilgrimage to Mecca, he carried over 8,000 servants, 500 slaves, 100 camels carrying 300 pounds of gold which he scattered all over the territory. This caused inflation which lasted for years. But our empire was taken over by the Songhai people and by the 1600’s, our empire had come to an end.

Andrea Clay

I was born and raised in Palo Alto, California (located in the San Francisco Bay Area). I attended college at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), where I obtained a degree in economics in 1988, and attended law school at the University of Southern California (USC), where I obtained a law degree and masters in business administration (MBA) in 1993. I have been a practicing lawyer since 1993, specializing in real estate finance representing banks and similar institutions in the financing of large real estate projects (e.g. hotels, shopping centers, office buildings, apartment and condominium buildings, and master planned communities). I have represented lenders in more than one billion dollars of real estate financings. In 2006, I was named one of the top twenty lawyers in the State of California under the age of 40 by the Daily Journal, the largest legal newspaper in the State of California. In 2007, I was named one of  the 2007 Superlawyers for California.

Destinations of African Slaves

 The beautiful illustrations in full color of striking paintings, sculpture and photographs, by black artists, as well as original art by book designer Debra Scarpa, add to the book’s impact.  Other ancient art and sculpture demonstrate the sophistication of African cultures. Some of the artists included are:

Charles Alston     Clementine Hunter ….Leo Carty    Malvin Gray Johnson    Elizabeth Catlett     Augusta Savage….Meta Warrick Fuller     Monica Stewart    Laura Wheeler Waring and many more.

Legacies also includes moving poems by outstanding black poets that touch the readers and remind the young women that they are not alone.  Some of the poets included are:

Maya Angelou, Mari Evans, Nikki Giovanni, Langston Hughes, Alic Walker, Sonia Sanchez and more.

-- Love Rae

Black Women Are Among The Greatest Leaders In History (Part 1)

Hi Love!

Some of the Greatest Leaders in History are Black Women

If they say you aren’t smart enough or you aren’t strong enough… If they say it can’t be done, just ignore them!  They haven’t got a clue!  

Some people may be surprised and happy and others might be surprised and astonished to find that there have been plenty of creative black  women and men in history who have not only ruled nations for hundreds of years but did things that changed the world. 

Two long-time California educators, Constance F. Gipson and Dr. Hazel Mahone, have always been fascinated by the creativity, innovation and accomplishments of their black ancestors. 

Over ten years in the making, their book Legacies: A Guide for Young Black Women in Planning Their Future contains an amazing array of stories about African Queens in history along with the life stories and accomplishments of dozens of successful black women. Each page reveals the stories, the challenges, and the strength and courage that comprises the remarkable heritage Included are the life stories, experiences and advice of international lawyers, money managers, astronauts, doctors, ministers, police officers, scientists and more.

“Throughout the ages, black women have used their ingenuity, their beauty, and their negotiation skills to raise armies, create inventions, and lead countries in war and peace throughout the ages. They have taken part in every sector of society--from the farm to the city, from the home, and to the offices of the world’s leaders.

“They hail from every income bracket and occupation,” say the authors, “and are a smart, spunky, and intelligent”. 

Legacies examines the accomplishments and rich heritage of African-Americans through the voices of sixteen African Queens and nearly forty successful contemporary black women.  Lavishly illustrated with beautiful artwork in full color and interspersed with poems that resonate, the book offers guidance as well as practical and thought-provoking interactive exercises that will help young women with life skills they need to succeed and maximize their impact on society. 

Legacies juxtaposes story after story about black women who changed the world then and now.  Here’s a sample: 

Ahmose Nofretari

“Let me tell you who I am. Long ago there was a powerful black kingdom called Kush. It was located in what today is known as Sudan. Kush was part of an area called Nubia, which was near Egypt. Sometimes Egyptians raided Kush for slaves. A group called the Hyksos invaded Egypt and ruled Egypt for more than 100 years until the Kushite soldiers helped drive them out. My father, King Sequenenre was king of Egypt. He was killed in battle against the Hyksos. My mother, Queen Ahhotep, saved the kingdom. My brother, Ahmose, became the pharaoh and chased the Hyksos out of Canaan. I married my brother, as was the custom of our country. After he died I ruled with my son Amenophis I. Our people worshiped Ra, the sun god. Ra was joined with Amon. I worshiped the god Amon and made sure that the temples honoring him were raised again. I controlled the daily life of the kingdom and was known for my serenity and beauty.”

Dr . Omowunmi Sadik

Omowunmi Sadik was born in Lagos, Nigeria. She is a Professor of Chemistry at State University of New York at Binghamton (SUNY-Binghamton). She received her Ph.D in Chemistry from the University of Wollongong in Australia and did her postdoctoral research at the US Environmental Protection Agency (US-EPA) in Las Vegas, Nevada. Dr. Sadik has held appointments at Harvard University, Cornell University, and Naval Research Laboratories in Washington, DC. Sadik’s research currently centers on the interfacial molecular recognition processes, sensors and biomaterials, and immunochemistry with tandem instrumental techniques. Her work utilizes electrochemical and spectroscopic techniques to study human exposure assessment, endocrine disrupters, and toxicity of naturally occurring chemical compounds.

Dr. Sadik developed a prototype sensor that can be used instead of drug/bomb-sniffing dogs. Using a combination of laboratory polymers and specially developed software, Sadik and co-workers have created an autonomous biosensor that uses microelectrode arrays to mimic the way mammals detect odor, thus allowing the sensor to mimic scents, detect explosives or illicit drugs and biological molecules.

Please continuing reading more about Black Women as leaders in part 2. 

-- Love Rae

Revival After Being Cheated On - How To Help Yourself

Hi Love!

Never give up, female author Tracy Schorn sheds light on rebuilding your life after a breakup.

Tracy Schorn’s LEAVE A CHEATER, GAIN A LIFE: The Chump Lady’s Survival Guide (Running Press, May 2016), is a snarky, no-nonsense self-help guide on how to bounce back and get on with your life after you’ve been cheated on. This is not a book about reconciling, saving your relationship, or making nice with your cheater, but rather a how-to guide for picking yourself up off the floor and taking back your power. Tracy Schorn is a journalist who runs the successful infidelity blog Chump Lady, and whose snarky wisdom and cartoons have helped thousands of chumps leave cheaters. Tracy is a regular contributor to Huffington Post Divorce, was recognized by Babble as one of the “Top 10 Relationship Bloggers of 2013,” and is a relationship blogger for the BlogHer/SheKnows network.

-- Love Rae

Finding New Love Online

Hi Love!

Dating Online is new, if you want to know how to succeed please check out the lessons from female author Lisa Hoehn.

YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN’T WRITE THAT:  Tips and Tricks for Creating an Online Dating Profile That Doesn't Suck (January 2016) by Lisa Hoehn, founder of ProfilePolish.com. Isn't online dating supposed to make finding love easier? Enter Lisa Hoehn, your ultimate online dating wing woman, and her book, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN’T WRITE THAT. It's a complete guide to creating and revamping your perfect profile, from picking the right username, to choosing the right photos (good photos are more important than being good looking!), to helpful hacks for being witty and interesting. Lisa Hoehn is a freelance writer and the founder of Profile Polish, a personalized online dating profile makeover service that's been featured in The Guardian, New York Magazine, Business Insider, XoJane, more. She lives in New York where she's consumed innumerable glasses of wine in search of the perfect date.

-- Love Rae